I am forever thankful to my friend Craig and an unnamed roommate who helped me to understand that I had to choose whether I loved people or things more. I purchased my first car on a Thursday afternoon and proceeded to drive it to where … “People are More Important Than Things”
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Snipped from The Tim Ferriss Show Transcripts: Jack Kornfield (#684). BoldItalic added by me for emphasis Jack Kornfield: In all these years, my understanding really is that it comes down to love. I’ve met [inaudible 01:05:26]. And lamas, and gurus, and lamas and everybody else in … “It All Comes Down to Love – Jack Kornfield”
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The following is a list of the lessons I learned, beliefs that were strengthen, and/or topics which frequently came up in discussions with other while walking the Camino. Walking the Camino provided a wonderful opportunity to consider what makes a meaningful life. TL;DR The “Big” … “Lessons from the Camino”
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The following is one of the posts that makes the rounds a bit like a chain letter. No idea who the original author is and how it has changed from when it was first written. My wife received it from a friend as we were … “Men Are Generally Happy People, Why?”
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I recently talked with a student I mentored years ago about some mid-life course corrections he was considering. This prompted me to think about my mid-life transition in 2011-2012 as I grappled with losing Libby to cancer. The follow is a remembrance of what changed … “Midlife Reset (Part I)”
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TL;DR Treating others as valuable by taking the time to really listen and to be present in the moment is one of the most impactful practices anyone can engage in. Not thinking about what’s next. Not thinking about how to respond, but giving people our whole attention. A friend … “Respectful Presence”
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TL;DR Contempt is extremely corrosive and will destroy relationships and society if not countered. Rather than encouraging people to repair a breach, contempt encourage people to separate, widening the gap. The solution is to truly listen to people you disagree with, looking for how you … “Against Contempt”
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Truth is the only thing worth standing on. Lies, falsehoods, secrets, excuses, might seem expedient, but they are like quicksand. They will drown your life if you walk in them. Lies can only hurt people and will rot away your heart and conscience. Secrets limit your ability to share fully with others and hurt your inner life until exposed by the healing light of truth and honesty.
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Last night I had a spirited discussion with some friends about US politics. One of our friends was expressing a concern that historically the US has been too “nice”, hopeful, helpful. We have created a culture people want to enjoy, but now we will be … “The Evolution of Cooperation”
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Not a week goes by when Jackie and I don’t have a serious argument…. and I am so thankful for this because our arguments grow our understanding and character. The root of our arguments is often that we see the world from different perspectives. As … “The Joy of a Good Argument”
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The dominate culture in the US prizes freedom and choice above all else which has led us to have one of the most individual oriented cultures. Garret Kell’s article entitled The Second-Most Important Book for Every Christian is a great antidote to the individual focus we are … “Christian’s Second Most Important Book”
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I have written early a bit about the important Christian practice of offering hospitality. Often this hospitality is in the form of opening our homes to others. We we can also extend hospitality beyond our homes by providing meals to others. In the last 30 … “Hospitality Delivered: Hints When Providing Meals”
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A month ago I happened upon a short story on NPR about the rule of reciprocation. The human inclination to reciprocate has been used by canny individuals and organizations throughout time to extract factorable actions from others. Over the years I have worked for companies that have different … “Rule of Reciprocation”
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The following was written as a companion to a teaching series about dating at PBC’s Young Adult Fellowship. While this post specifically addresses dating relationships, the core principle is equally applicable to platonic friendships or relationships with coworkers. I have had countless conversations over the … “Attitudes & Dating”
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As I mentioned in earlier postings, you shouldn’t expect to find someone who is a perfect compliment for you, someone who is perfectly mature. Why? Because both you are a work in progress. Neither of you will be fully formed and “perfect”. So it’s pointless … “On the Same Spiritual Journey”
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In my previous posts I have suggested that marriage was designed to provide companionship in the context of a committed relationship where both parties choose to sacrificially love the other. The fuel for these sorts of relationships is a bit different from our popular culture’s … “Romance & Intimacy”
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One could write a whole book, and many have, about what makes a good marriage. Rather than trying to make an exhaustive list, I am going to highlight just three things. I believe if these three areas are attended to, a marriage will ultimately succeed, … “What Makes a Good Marriage?”
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Let me start out and say something that I think is obvious but seems to be questioned these days. Marriage is good! For those who believe in the Bible, the argument is pretty easy to make, at least superfluously. God created marriage. God declared marriage good. … “Blessings of Marriage And Singleness”
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In the last six months I have found myself spending a great deal of time thinking and talking with friends about the nature of marriage. Part of this was because I was involved in two Bible studies which covers Genesis 2, and Ephesians 5, two … “Reflections on Marriage and Relationships”
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Everyone I know want to opportunity to choose their long term relationships, be it coworkers, friends, or spouse which is very understandable. I have notice that this desire extends to the more transitory, day to day interactions. Most of us have a tendency to orient … “Relational Openness and Delightful Surprises”
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