I have been fortunate to have several people in my life who exemplify generosity and inspire me to follow in their footsteps. In the last year I have been challenged and encouraged by Glen Van Peski’s Take Less, Do More and a class on The Practice of Generosity which is currently running at Bridgetown.
As I was reflecting on the material from the Generosity class I was reminded of a series of experiences from around twenty years ago:
My first couple of cars were compact Japanese sedans that were pre-owned. I was delighted to have a car that was reliable and safe. For nearly 15 years my wife and I shared a car. 1997 we decided to get a second car when I regularly had to travel further than was practical on my bicycle. We purchased a new Toyota Corolla wagon which became my wife’s car during the week, and the car we used for roadtrips, car camping, etc. Our Mazda 323 became “my” car. A couple years later we determined the Mazda wasn’t safe. We replaced the Mazda with a Toyota Camry. The Camry became my wife’s car, and the car we used going someplace as a family. I “inherited” the Corolla which delighted me. I really love the Corolla, the Camry seemed too big.
In 2000 I was working for an early stage startup. Many of my coworkers came from startups that had done very well. Our parking lot was filled with cars paid for by IPOs. Mostly Audis, a good number of BMW and Mercedes Benz, a sampling of higher end Lexus, several Porsche, at least one Jag, Lotus, Range Rover, and a Hummer (real, not a H2). I noticed these cars, but it didn’t seem to affect me. I loving my little Corolla station wagon. It was very reliable, functional and was the perfect size.
As I was constantly exposed the these cars my contentment slowly eroded. I started to become envious of the people with those nice cars. I told myself those cars were too expensive and didn’t have a good ROI. Then I found myself reading reviews about performance cars, looking for what cars provided the best performance per dollars and could be reliable enough to be a daily driver. Then I started to consider what I might do when our company had a successful exit. I thought, “I have worked hard. maybe it would be ok to purchase a nice car.” I found I was spending an increasing amount of time thinking about cars even though our cars were completely adequate.
One day my wife and I were talking with some missionaries sent out from our church. They were spending the summer in Palo Alto and then were moving to Dallas to train future Wycliffe translators. They were worried their 1979 Saab 99 wouldn’t survive the drive to Dallas. Even if the car made it, it didn’t have air conditioning which would be tough during summers in Dallas. They asked us to pray for a solution or at least that the car would make the drive.
I felt a stirring in my spirit. I turned to my wife, she saw the expression on my face and nodded. I said to them “Your prayer has already been answered. We have two cars, but only one is regularly used and the other only needs to be used around town a few times a week. Lets trade.” The next week we exchanged my 1997 Corolla wagon for their 1979 Saab. The missionaries were very thankful. One said “This is the nicest car we have ever had. We know it will serve us well.”
Fast forward a year. An acquaintance was driving me to my work after a church retreat. As we were pulling into the parking lot I started to describe the car I wanted him to drop my next to. As he was looking across the parking lot he said “My car!”. Turns out the Saab was originally his mom’s. It became his car during school and he used while he was working his first job. He replaced it with a nice Audi when his company had an IPO, and donated it to the church that in turn gifted it to our missionaries. We had a laughed about how it is a small world. A year later I learned Peter was going to leave his company and told my boss. We became coworkers making is a very small world.
Sometime later I was talking with a good friend who drove a Volvo 240 station wagon that might have been older than my Saab. We agreed that we had the two ugliest cars in our neighborhood. My car’s red paint had faded to an ugly brownish color, his color was quite splotched. In the middle of the conversation I realized that I was no longer envious of the cars at my work. I was no longer reading car reviews. I had come to love my old Saab. I was more than satisfied… every time I drove the Saab I remembers how happy and grateful our missionaries were which made me smile. This led me to the following reflections:
- When I am continuously exposed to luxury, I start to think it’s normal and I grow discontent with anything less. Unless I mindfully resist the environment I am in, it will affect me. This is a close relative of adaptive hedonism.
- An act of generosity can reset me perspective, filling me with joy, thankfulness, and contentment. Swapping my nearly new Toyota for an old Saab had freed me from feeling envy.
Several years later the axle on my Saab snapped as I was driving on to Page Mill Road. Thankful no one was injured as I jerked to a stop in the middle of an interchange. I had to pay a junkyard to take the car away… there was no value left other than great memories and a life lesson.
The next week I went out to test drive some cars. My dear wife said “Try whatever you like. You have been driving the Saab… it would be ok to drive something nicer.” I test drove a wide range of cars including an Audi and a Mazda RX7 that I had lusted after a few years early. I concluded that wanted a Corolla station wagon. Alas, they stopped making them. I ended up purchasing a VW station wagon which seemed like the most practical option and was fun to drive. After I got it, I briefly considered seeing if our missionaries would be willing to swap a newer VW for my old Corolla. The VW felt like a sinful luxury and I really missed my Corolla. After a few months I decided I loved my VW and didn’t need to feel guilty driving a new car.
In 2020 I learned that my trusty Corolla was still in use. The missionaries had given it to their daughter when she went off to college and it was still providing reliable transportation.
Cars ownership seems to provide many opportunities to grow in generosity. I earlier wrote about how a car was instrumental in crystalizing my perspective that people are more important than things.
One person gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed. – Proverbs 11:24-25