The following is one of the posts that makes the rounds a bit like a chain letter. No idea who the original author is and how it has changed from when it was first written. My wife received it from a friend as we were talking about several of these items which made me think to post it here. We both think it’s a fun read… whether your are a male or female. What’s described seems to be western, maybe US cultural norms. Friends from Hong Kong found several of the observations missed.
What do you expect from such simple, mostly innocent creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Wedding dress – $5,000. Tux rental – $100. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. One wallet and one pair of shoes – one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. Wrinkles add character. You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache…
You can play with toys all your life.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier!
NICKNAME · If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. · If Mike, Joe and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Buz, Mullet, and Rooster.
EATING OUT · When the bill arrives, Mike, Joe and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, outcome the pocket calculators.
MONEY. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS · A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel · The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these item
ARGUMENTS · A woman has the last word in any argument. · Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE · A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband · / A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE · A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.· A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP · A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL · Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed · Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
LAST THOUGHT FOR THE DAY. A married man should forget all his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing for the rest of his life!
So, send this to all our beautiful, sweet, loving, caring and sharing ladies who we cherish and adore and can’t do enough for and wish we could more, who we hope will continue to be our queens and who have a sense of humor …. and to other men who enjoy reading.
