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Recently, a number of people have expressed appreciation for my willingness to be “real” about life, to be vulnerable. I have had had two reactions to this feedback. On the one hand, I want to say “Of course, there is no other rational way to live”. On the other hand, I want to say “Really?…
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Twenty seven years ago Libby and I were married in a school’s multi-purpose room with our friends and family looking on. It was a stressful but happy day. The morning was spent moving Libby’s belongings from the room she had been sharing with a friend to what was to be our new home… someone needed…
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I would notice The Courage to Teach by Parker Palmer every time I visited my favorite bookstore. I didn’t picked it up… I am not a teacher. In my mind, teachers are those brave souls who stands in front of students in a school, or in front of the congregation of a church and present…
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Earlier I wrote a bit about how I am being a bit more intentional in what I am listening to… but I still like variety. I discover new music the old fashion way: recommendations from friends or reviews in magazines like Paste. When I learn of a new artist I might be interested in, I…
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In June I left Stanford and joined Simply Hired. It was a great move for me. I was going to be leading three teams: big data, service/ops engineering, and IT. Two of these areas I know well, the third, big data I had some background, but I was going to need to work at getting…
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In the last few years I have not been taking care of myself. Libby was often needing to go to treatment or a doctor’s appointment several times each week. Adding one more trip seemed too much, so I just never got around to scheduling appointments with my doctor, dentist, etc. I wasn’t eating as well…
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In the last couple of weeks I have been thinking a lot about the Bible’s teaching about how we, as Christians are called to live. I have spent a good bit of time looking at Romans 5-8. At the core of this passage is our inability to be good or to do anything truly right…
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A month or so ago, I learned that there were several homeless people who attend my church, PBC. I was bowled over by this. Not that people are homeless. I know this is a reality. What surprised me was that we had people who were part of our church community who did not want to…
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Over the last few years I seen a growing interest in gamification of life. There is part of me that wants to say the whole idea was silly. Who needs their real life to be turned into a video game where you are accumulating points and badges. Shouldn’t we direct our lives based on results…
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Libby and I used to talk nearly every night. Often for a couple of hours. The topics varied greatly: basic logistical issues, smoothing over relational friction, concerns weighing on our hearts, big ideas, silly dreams. Honestly the topics almost didn’t matter, it was having someone to share life with. It’s been three months since we…
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My father taught me the value of simplicity. He didn’t need to update an item if it was still working. He didn’t need to purchase something to impress others. Dad was suspicious of people who attacked problems with complicated solutions. Complex solutions typically demonstrated that people were using the wrong paradigm. He would often say…
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I like variety. This shows up in in the food I eat, the music I listen to, the books I read. I enjoy when my world expands, to have new and different experiences. I believe there is a lot of good in this, and yet, I found myself wondering about the cost. Less than 200…
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I think the very best amplifiers are like wire with gain. That is, they add or take away nothing from the sound quality. They just boast the signal enough to drive the speakers. An amplifier that does this requires the source and speakers to be well matched. Often times, people will choice an amplifier that…
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Early this morning Libby went home to be with the Lord. As in life, she was tenacious in her passing. It was peaceful, but she fought to stay with us as long as she could. We already miss her terribly, but are so glad that the suffering is done and that she will never have…
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Gaye, our primary hospice nurse stopped by today, even though it’s her day off. She believes that Libby is in her last hours based breathing patterns and several other indicators. We have been jumping between being unspeakable sad, in a numb disbelief, and brief periods of joy as we remember together what a blessing Libby…
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Libby’s strength is waning. This is very hard, but we are so grateful that Libby is comfortable and at peace. This is a vast improvement from confusion and restlessness of Tuesday. We can’t begin to than you for your prayers. Libby’s body seems to be giving up the fight. Her breathing is more erratic, and…
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Today Libby had a good morning and early afternoon. She had a sense of peace and wasn’t confused. We really appreciate your prayers. Yesterday was a heartbreaking day. Libby didn’t want to drink anything. Her breathing was very slow. She was confused and unable to communication without extreme effort. When she wasn’t sleeping she seemed…
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Last night we thought Libby had a couple of weeks. Things seem to be progressing way faster than we expected. We believe that we are counting the time remaining in a small number of days. The hospice nurse observed that they often see with their younger patients that they stay at a high function level…
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A bit more than a week ago Libby’s brother Andy, my sister Marilyn, and my mother Anne flew into town to visit and likely to say goodbye in person. The following day we have a gathering with around 80 close friends. We didn’t plan a program of any sort, we just wanted to hang out…
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Libby and I were introduced to the idea of hospice several years ago by several friends and later learned a bit more from the book Dying Well by Ira Byock. It seemed to both of us that hospice was a great idea. That toward the end of life to make sure the quality of the…