Category: relationships
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I recently talked with a student I mentored years ago about some mid-life course corrections he was considering. This prompted me to think about my mid-life transition in 2011-2012 as I grappled with losing Libby to cancer. The follow is a remembrance of what changed then, and how I think about these issues ten years…
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TL;DR Treating others as valuable by taking the time to really listen and to be present in the moment is one of the most impactful practices anyone can engage in. Not thinking about what’s next. Not thinking about how to respond, but giving people our whole attention. A friend was telling me about how he had been learning to…
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TL;DR Contempt is extremely corrosive and will destroy relationships and society if not countered. Rather than encouraging people to repair a breach, contempt encourage people to separate, widening the gap. The solution is to truly listen to people you disagree with, looking for how you share values “the why” even when you disagree about what’s…
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Truth is the only thing worth standing on. Lies, falsehoods, secrets, excuses, might seem expedient, but they are like quicksand. They will drown your life if you walk in them. Lies can only hurt people and will rot away your heart and conscience. Secrets limit your ability to share fully with others and hurt your…
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Last night I had a spirited discussion with some friends about US politics. One of our friends was expressing a concern that historically the US has been too “nice”, hopeful, helpful. We have created a culture people want to enjoy, but now we will be taken advantage of and ultimately destroyed. We need to be…
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Jackie says “Weee….”, Mark says “Whatever”. We are different Not a week goes by when Jackie and I don’t have a serious argument…. and I am so thankful for this because our arguments grow our understanding and character. The root of our arguments is often that we see the world from different perspectives. As we argue,…
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The dominate culture in the US prizes freedom and choice above all else which has led us to have one of the most individual oriented cultures. Garret Kell’s article entitled The Second-Most Important Book for Every Christian is a great antidote to the individual focus we are exposed to. What is the second most important book? Your…
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I have written early a bit about the important Christian practice of offering hospitality. Often this hospitality is in the form of opening our homes to others. We we can also extend hospitality beyond our homes by providing meals to others. In the last 30 years I have been both a recipient of, and a…
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A month ago I happened upon a short story on NPR about the rule of reciprocation. The human inclination to reciprocate has been used by canny individuals and organizations throughout time to extract factorable actions from others. Over the years I have worked for companies that have different standards about gifts received from vendors and business partners. Some…
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The following is part of a series of posts sharing what I have learned about dating and marriage which is to complement the teaching series we are doing at Young Adult Fellowship. While this post specifically addresses dating relationships, the core principle is equally applicable to platonic friendships or relationships with coworkers. I have had…