We spend our time carelessly, as though it were unlimited. The question “If you only had six months to live, what would you do?” is a reminder that it is not.

A thought experiment which limits how much time you have can be a powerful tool to help you clarify what is really important to you. The follow-on questions “Are you doing this now? If not, why not?” move a step further. They demand an examination of how the values you state match up against the values you live.

An Old Question

For thousands of years philosophers and religious leaders have challenged people to live now in view of the brevity of life, and to spend time on what is most important. Some focus on what’s most important to the individual. For others, the question is what is most important to some outside judge, be it God, society, or history.

Marcus Aurelius wrote in his Meditations: “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” Christians have long practiced memento mori, a meditation on death, to keep themselves focused on living righteously. The Buddhist practice of maraṇasati likewise is a reflection on the certainty of death so one can live with urgency and care.

For a modern take on the same question, I recommend Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman. Four thousand weeks is roughly what you get if you live to eighty. The book explores the finite nature of human experience and how it might impact our daily choices.

The Time Horizon Changes the Answer

A couple of weeks ago I had a good discussion about this question with some friends I met walking the Camino Portugués. I really appreciated it, because the question is a live one for me right now. I have been weighing some professional opportunities, several people I love have just lost someone close to them, and others are living with terminal illnesses and have just months left.

Several people observed that many people would change their answer as the time horizon changed. They suggested three horizons.

Six months: experiences. People talk about crossing off a couple of bucket list items, or maybe just going to the pub and drinking themselves into a stupor so they don’t have to face their mortality.

One to two years: completion. The focus shifts to finishing something that’s important. Things that are often mentioned are getting children to a “good place”, closing out a career, finishing a project that is already in progress, or crossing off all their bucket list items.

Five years: maximum long-term impact. It’s enough time to start something completely new and bring it to conclusion, or at least to the point that it can continue on its own.

My Answer

What I would do with six months is what I am already doing. In the post “retirement” I wrote that my answer to “What are you doing now?” is

I spend time with people. I listen to their stories. I sometimes tell stories. I bring presence. I sometimes write up what I am learning.

I have come to believe that embodying love and bringing presence is the most rewarding way for me to spend my time, and is also the way for me to have the most impact on this world.

As a result, my answer to “What would you do?” doesn’t change no matter what the time horizon is. My character, the process of life, and how I respond in the moment are, for me, the definition of impact. “Big” projects look impressive, but it’s life in the small which ultimately has impact in view of eternity.

Old Friends and New Encounters

Something that surprised me was that I wouldn’t focus on those closest to me to the exclusion of new opportunities. When asked whether I would still walk the Camino, or make an effort to meet new people at church, or learn something new, my answer was “Yes”, even if I had just a few weeks left.

My self-reflective question is “Why?”, especially when I know numerous people who in this sort of circumstance would focus on their closest friends to the exclusion of all else.

My answer is threefold. First, I love to learn and meet new people. I take great joy from new discoveries, and this isn’t lessened by a shortened time horizon. Second, I have come to appreciate that very small interactions can have a surprisingly powerful impact, and that it’s possible to form connections with others almost instantly when both are choosing to be vulnerable and loving. Finally, I realized that those closest to me have already heard much of what I have to offer. I would still spend much of my time with them, and that time would be valuable, even though it would largely repeat conversations we have already had. Time with new people adds something different, because we might share something neither of us has previously encountered.

Working through these questions showed me that I would change very little. I’d encourage you to ask them of yourself. If you only had six months, what would you do? Are you doing it now? If not, why not.

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. – Psalm 90:12 ESV